Countdowns

It has been very interesting for me to realise how differently my kids need to be handled, compared to "neurotypical" children. As all my kids have ASD, I'm often completely oblivous to the fact that challenges we face daily are not ones encountered by others - this has become very evident over the past few weeks as our Day Care Carers have been asking, no, pleading, for advice on how to handle my kids.

One of their biggest hurdles involves Transitions. Throughout the day, people face endless transitions - from moving between rooms, stopping one task to begin another, thinking about a different concept, eating your veggies before other food, planning about what you'll do in the next hour, talking to one person before switching to another... the average day consists of streaming transitions. People with ASD typically struggle with transitions for many reasons - they may be unable to shift their mental space to a new thing, they may not have completely finished their current activity to their satisfaction, the transition may result in a frightening situation (ie. socialising), sensory deficits may make them avoid walking onto the concrete or into sunlight... and so on, the list is endless. The key is, that every transition, no matter how seemingly insignificant, will almost certainly cause some difficulty.

It is very difficult for a busy Daycare Centre to provide a great deal of time and energy in persuading or gently encouraging ASD kids to engage in the daily life there, it's simply not feasible. They can provide basic supports but ultimately we need to streamline the process! In an effort to make explanations as simple as possible for Daycare staff, I've tried to make the most concise list of advice possible:

1. Firstly, accept that changes will make the kids seize up - but they're not being deliberately difficult.
2. Give forwarning of any changes - announce the intention in simple terms (I suggest "caveman speak") about 5 minutes in advance.
3. Give a second warning about 2 minutes in advance.
4. Move on to the next activity. If my child refuses, say something like "Ok, we're all doing painting now, you can come with me and join in when you're ready. If you need to, you can also use the quiet corner."
5. If my child refuses, walk away and proceed with whatever the activity/task is. Invariably they will eventually sidle over and join in "on their own terms".

If it's an important task like going to the toilet or moving to a different room, we simply state the need again "I know you don't want to, however we must change your nappy now as it's dirty." and start a countdown to three "We're going in 1.... 2.... 3...." and physically take the child if necessary.

The countdown gives the kids an extremely simple, always understood mental trigger for switching their thinking into DOING. We use countdowns a LOT at home. I go to sleep at night counting to three endlessly in my head. It's obviously important to nurture and provide understanding to these kids, however Life around them must go on and it's rarely never possible to spend 30 minutes negotiating or working up to a transition.